Thailand related jokes

The Elephant and the Snake

An elephant was walking through Khao Yai National Park, feeling bored and trying to avoid tourists. Suddenly he heard a shout, and as he looked down, he saw a cobra stretched out on the path in front of him.

“Hey, watch where you’re going,” said the snake. “You nearly stood on me.”

“I’m sorry,” said the elephant. “I’m just so bored that I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

“You’re bored,” said the snake. “Tell me about it. With all these tourists, I have to go deep into the jungle to get away from them, but then there’s nothing to do here.”

“I’m so fed up. What can we do?” asked the elephant.

“Well,” said the snake, “I have a plan. I’ve been thinking about this a lot and I have made up a new game. Do you want to try it out?”

“Sure,” said the elephant. “What’s it called?”

“Jungle snooker,” said the snake.

“OK. How do we play it?” asked the elephant.

“Well, first we take it in turns to perform a trick, and then we give each other points for the trick,” explained the snake. “If the trick is not very good, we can give a red ball for 1 point, but if the trick is really good, we can give a black ball for seven points.”

“OK,” said the elephant. “You go first.”

With this, the snake took a deep breath, placed his nose on the ground and then flipped up his body and tensed all his muscles so that he was balancing upright on his nose.

“Very impressive,” said the elephant. “I will give you a blue ball and five points for that.”

“Right,” said the snake. It’s your turn now.”

The elephant didn’t know what to do. He thought and thought and then suddenly had an idea.
“Alright, I’m ready,” said the elephant. He took a deep breath, placed the tip of his trunk on the ground and then flipped up his body and tensed all his muscles so that he was balancing upright on his trunk.

“WOW!” exclaimed the snake. “That was amazing. I will give you a pink ball and six points for that trick.” The snake knew he had to come up with something special to beat the elephant’s last trick, so he though and thought. Finally, he had an idea. “Right,” said the snake. “What will you give me if I climb up your ass, crawl through your intestines and then out through your trunk?”

“If you can do that,” said the elephant, “I will give you a black ball, seven points and I’ll concede the game.”

The snake started to relax all his muscles and then he crawled up the elephant’s leg, into his ass and then started to crawl through his intestines. As he got halfway through, the elephant stuck his trunk up his ass and cried out victoriously, “How’s that for a snooker.”

The Missing Miss

A farang’s in bed with his Thai girlfriend. After having great sex, she spends the next hour just stroking his willie, something she had lovingly done on many occasions. Rather enjoying it, he turns and asks her, 'Why do you love doing that?'

She replies: 'Because I really miss mine'.